The heart-piercing truth from a family with a second child: Don't say these 3 sentences to the boss even if you have a rotten stomach!
Second-child families are always a hot topic. Almost every second- or multiple-child family will have conflicts between children. Many parents are always at a loss as to how to deal with conflicts between children. Therefore, parents are advised to do the following when encountering conflict with the second child:
Try not to intervene, because parents' intervention can never be fair, so it is best to let them solve their own problems.
Don't wrong the boss and ask the big to let the young. After all, the boss of the child may not be so mature.
When the second child does not respect the boss, you must come out in time to stop it and educate it. Don’t think that the second child can do whatever he wants, otherwise it will help the elder second.
Reassure both parties afterwards. The most important thing is not to punish the children but to let them realize their mistakes, and then guide them to reach a reconciliation. Only in this way can the children get along more friendly and harmonious, and teach them what blind date is. Love each other, let them know that they are a family and rely on each other in the future, and don't kidnap children with sensibleness.
After having a second child, the three words that parents usually talk about are basically: You are an older brother/sister, you must be sensible; if your younger brother is so young, can't you let him? At such an age, he is still ignorant. If he plays less, he will die... These seemingly unintentional verbal words of parents are often a huge harm to children. It will make the child feel insecure, and then produce some "character deviations".
1. Let the child develop an aggressive personality
Most of the conflicts with the second child are caused by the neglect of the eldest by the parents and the requirement to be sensible. And all the excessive behavior of the boss is just looking for a sense of existence, and I hope that parents can pay more attention to him. Therefore, when parents deal with the conflict of second or multiple births, they must not ignore the feelings of the boss, and do not limit their children with sensibleness.
2. Let the children become too sensible to please their parents
Children are not born sensible. If your child is too sensible, think about whether it is caused by your own reasons. Either the sense of security and love given by the parents is too strong, or the sense of security is not enough, so that they can show their sensible side to please their parents. No matter what the reason is, it is not recommended. Therefore, no matter how busy and chaotic parents are, they should not Ignore the feelings of the boss, let alone let the boss win our attention with sensibleness. Otherwise, in the long run, the child is likely to develop into a flattering personality, who cares too much about the feelings of others, but wrongs himself. Therefore, in order to have a harmonious second-child relationship, the most important thing is the parents' attentive maintenance, don't be stingy with their own care, and let every child feel loved and loved.
So how can we better deal with the relationship between children?
1. Give the boss 100 candies
In fact, no matter how sensible and kind children are, they will be somewhat uncomfortable when facing a younger brother or sister who may compete with them for favor. At this time, the attitude and practice of parents are very important. The first thing parents need to do is to give the old man some company. The so-called "give the eldest 100 candies" principle, when they have enough candies in their hands, they will have a sufficient sense of security, and they will also think about caring for their younger siblings.
2. Always fill the child's sense of security
American psychologists liken children's need for parental care to holding cups: each child holds his own cup, and 1111 hopes that parents will give them a sense of security and love. When they find that their unique status is threatened, they fight to defend their parents' favor and privilege. At this time, parents must grasp the overall trend of the second-child relationship. Even if there is occasional eccentricity or deviation, they should also give their children full love and a sense of security in time.
All in all, no matter whether we have a first child, a second child or multiple births, we must take care of us and nurture them with love, because they are all angels that you have worked so hard to conceive in October. I hope every family can have a happy life. The first or second child family, love each other through this life