Every child's life has 3 turning points, do you really know how to educate your own children?
Studies have shown that by the time a child reaches their teens, their brain development has already matured. At this time, his behavior habits and personality traits have probably been fixed. Therefore, before the child's brain matures, the education of the child can play a decisive role in the child's life. In the past ten years, there have been three obvious turning points in the growth of children. Parents must take good care of them and use targeted education methods.
When were these three turning periods? And how to educate:
The first turning point: when the child is about 3 years old, the child is very ignorant and ignorant before that, as long as he has his favorite food or toys, he will be easily satisfied. But at the age of 3, the child begins to have a sense of autonomy. At this time, the child often shows self-centeredness, and will cry and fight if he can't get what he wants. You must let your parents listen to your own ideas. If you are not satisfied or rejected, you will be angry, and you will even swear at your parents.
The emotional state of the child is very unstable during this time period. So in order to keep children in good condition, how should parents educate:
1. Make full use of children's competitiveness
Because children at this stage especially like to compete with others, parents can no longer directly tell the children what to do when giving orders to the children, but in a different way. Said: Let's compare whether mom eats fast or you eat fast. At this time, the child's desire to win will prompt him to take the initiative to eat instead of having his parents supervise him.
2. Let children do multiple-choice questions instead of fill-in-the-blank questions
When dealing with children at this stage, many parents will ask their children for their opinions before choosing to do things. But at this time, the child doesn't care what you want him to do, the child only thinks about what he wants to do. So if you want your child to turn off the TV, don't ask the child if it is okay to stop watching TV. At this time, most children will reject the parents. Ask the child: do homework or wash first after turning off the TV, so that after the child chooses one of the options, he will naturally take the initiative to perform the pre-task, that is, turn off the TV.
3. Give children buffer time
It is best for parents to inform the child in advance before giving instructions to the child. The sudden order will make the child resist, because he is immersed in his own world, and it will be difficult for the child to let him escape for a short time. So when asking your child to do something, it is best to tell the child about 10 minutes in advance: we will have dinner in ten minutes, remember to pay attention to the time. At this time, when the time comes to call again, the child will generally not procrastinate, because in his mind, the task has been received 10 minutes ago, and he has enough time to digest it.
The second turning point: when the child is 7 years old, the child enters primary school, and the new environment and contact circle make the child's body and mind further develop, entering the second rebellious period of childhood. At this time, the child wants to make decisions for himself in everything, and will talk back to the parents if they are interfered by the parents.
Therefore, for children of this age, parents should educate them like this:
1. Give children a certain amount of free space
Children at this age are very active, like to play, and want to spend most of their time outdoors. Parents try to give their children enough time and space at this time to let them release their active nature, but they should not be too indulgent, otherwise it will backfire.
2. Set an example for your children
Setting an example is not to compare the excellent grades of other children with your own children, but to let the children have a goal to strive for through encouragement and motivation. This is the role that role models can play.
3. Protect children's self-esteem
Some parents will adopt more extreme educational methods when their children fail to meet the expected goals in exams, such as accusing and beating their children. It is already very difficult for a child to fail the exam. If the parents continue to blame and blame, the child will easily lose interest in learning. Moreover, I feel that I have no dignity, which leads to the intensification of family conflicts.
The third turning period: when the child is more than 10 years old, the child has entered adolescence at this time. It is the time when children's body hormone secretion is the most vigorous, so children at this age have great vitality and relatively rebellious psychology. If parents do not master the correct educational methods, the relationship with their children may gradually deteriorate.
At this stage, the child has developed towards an adult, and has become no longer as childish as when he was young. Therefore, parents should not still treat their children in the way of managing children, but respect their own opinions, and provide some plans and suggestions for children to adopt when necessary. Give the child enough privacy space, and let the child identify with himself through recognition and praise, so that he can adopt more parents' opinions.
Therefore, when parents are educating their children, they must pay attention to the three transition periods of their children, and use different methods to educate their children, and there will be unexpected gains.