Why does my child have no friends? Parents didn't do this well, no wonder the child has no friends
As one of the basic needs of human beings, social needs, whether adults or children, have this need. After all, as a social person, it is impossible to leave the group and live alone. Everyone will have their own social circle, but the size of the circle is different. Good at socializing, the wider the circle, the easier it is for people to stand in the society. Parents also hope that their children are social and cheerful.
This epidemic has also brought the most primitive social needs of human beings to the fullest. The children have been at home for so long, and they are tired of staying there. There is even a golden sentence from a certain child on the Internet: "I can't wait to go out and play with the virus. ”. But desire is desire. When the opportunity really comes, whether the children can grasp it and integrate into everyone's circle is another matter.
I recently saw a video on the Internet. In the video, several children are riding small toy cars. You are chasing after me and playing happily under the care of their parents, while a little boy is standing next to the flower bed not far away. , looked at the group of children enviously, hesitantly wanted to join in and play with them, but looked down at the scooter under his feet, but he was a little timid and did not dare to go forward.
Maybe the little boy thinks that other children are playing with toy cars that can sit and ride, but he is playing with a small scooter that stands on one foot. Unlike them, he is afraid that they will not be able to play together, so he is afraid to go forward. Bar.
In fact, from the perspective of a bystander, don't we think that the toys are different? That's okay, but kids tend to limit themselves because of this "different". Therefore, as a parent, it is also very important to encourage children at the appropriate time and cultivate their social skills.
I remember seeing a piece of news on the Internet before that a 6-year-old boy named Teddy was celebrating his birthday. His mother held a birthday party for him and ordered 40 pizzas. But what was unexpected was that among the people invited that day, 32 classmates and parents were absent, leaving only a table full of pizza and Teddy. From the photos taken at the scene at that time, it can be seen that Teddy's face is full of loss, which is really distressing.
Think about how much psychological shadow it will leave on your child if it is your child's birthday. Therefore, it is particularly important for parents to encourage their children to participate in social activities in their daily life, and it is particularly important to cultivate children's social skills. So, how can we help children improve their social skills?
- Establish the concept of "personal space"
Before children socialize, the first thing parents should do is to help children understand what "personal space" is. Everyone is an independent individual, has his own privacy, and should have a respected personal space. The same goes for children, who also have the right to their own personal space.
Parents can teach their children to read some simple micro-expressions and micro-motions to help children better perceive the emotions of others, so as not to offend others. For example, when people are dissatisfied, the corners of the mouth are usually slightly downward; when they feel happy, the corners of the mouth are raised.
Let the children know, respect others, others will respect themselves.
- Teach basic social skills
Parents can properly teach their children some social skills, such as paying attention to etiquette and politeness, teaching their children to use polite expressions; observing table manners, washing hands before meals, and not speaking when eating.
- Help children understand the rules of communication
Parents can let their children understand the basic social rules through some picture books, telling stories and playing games. For example, parents and children can role-play to let children know how to communicate with other children completely, how to start a dialogue, maintain a dialogue, and finally. End the conversation.
- Reasonably guide negative emotions
When children encounter social problems and have negative emotions, parents should avoid simple and rude solutions. They should try to chat with their children calmly, analyze the reasons with their children in a gentle and gentle tone, understand the cause and effect of the matter, and patiently seek solutions. Ways to eliminate children's social anxiety.
- Parents lead by example
The cultivation of children’s social skills also requires a parent who plays an exemplary role. Parents should also lead by example to improve their social skills, so that children can see more of their parents’ confident and cheerful side, and children will naturally become confident and cheerful. There is a saying that goes well: Parents are the best way to teach their children.
- Accompany and support children more
High-quality parent-child companionship can help cultivate children's confident and cheerful personality and enhance children's sense of security. Parents should usually spend more time with their children, play and share happiness with their children.
When children take the initiative to invite children to play at home, parents should have a positive attitude of encouragement, and don’t worry about children messing up the home. Compared with children’s happiness and friendship, cleaning up is really nothing.
At the same time, parents can often take their children to places with many children, such as parks, playgrounds, etc., to help children create more opportunities to play with their peers.