Bao mom and 2-year-old baby fight: 'Everyone is a human for the first time, don't let anyone'

In the process of children's growth, I believe that many parents have encountered situations where their children hit or even bite people when they are playing with themselves.

In the face of this situation, some parents choose to forbear, thinking that their children are still young and ignorant, and it is unintentional to beat them. If they do, they will beat them. Whoever made them their own, they cannot fight back and beat them back.

But some parents choose to stand on an equal footing with their children. Since you hit me, I should "hit" back.

Some time ago, a video of a young mother and a 2-year-old baby "fighting" suddenly became popular on the Internet. In the video, a mother who looks very young is playing and interacting with her 2-year-old child. At first, the two of them had a good time, and the baby laughed a few times from time to time.

But the good times didn't last long. The mother and son, who were happy one second, "fighted" together because of a toy the next second.

However, it can be clearly seen from the video that this mother is actually just joking with the baby, because the baby has been holding on to her hair, so she also grabbed the baby's short hair, so that the baby can also experience being pulled by the hair. The pain of the baby, and while playing with the baby, the mother still chanted: "You are the first time to be a baby, I am also the first time to be a mother, everyone is the first time to be a human, let's not let anyone ."

Until the end, the baby let go of his hand obediently, and the mother also let go of her own. Netizens saw this way of education of the mother, and they all began to think about the way they get along with their children.

Obviously, the mother did not blindly accommodate the child. When the child made a mistake and did not know it, the mother could immediately put down her parental figure and put herself and the child in the same and equal position, and let the child experience "a tooth for a tooth". It hurts when someone is beaten, so that you realize that it is not right to do so, and take the initiative to let go.

In fact, children not only play with their parents, but also often quarrel and fight when playing with their friends. The boat of friendship is overturned. Whenever they see such a situation, many parents will wonder, why did their children become like this? what should I do?

In fact, these actions, which are considered aggressive in the eyes of adults, just reflect the growth laws of children.

1. Why do children love to beat people?

2. Hand sensitive period

At about 1 year old, the child's muscle control ability has developed, and he can control his arm movement better, and can throw things and hit people at will. This is just the baby's normal way of communication, not an attack in the real sense. , disrespectful behavior.

Because the children at this stage suddenly realize that their little hands can still be used in this way, and when the children do these actions, the parents show surprise or laugh in response, which will make the children feel that this is a very interesting thing, thus deepening Memories, in the future, will "play" more vigorously.

2. The germination of self-awareness

Children begin to develop self-awareness around the age of 2 and become self-centered. Your own things are absolutely not allowed to be touched by others, and must be "protected".

But at this time, the child's language expression ability is not perfect. When the child can't express himself in words in order to get or protect what he wants, he can only use behavior (hitting) to express his wishes and emotions.

3. Lack of self-control

After the age of three or four, most children can understand the feelings of others, but they may still hurt others by hitting or cursing.

Because the prefrontal cortex of the child's brain is far from mature at this time, and the prefrontal cortex is responsible for rational thinking and self-control, it is inevitable for children to act impulsive.

In addition, after all, children are still young, and when faced with conflicts, their ability to solve problems is still limited.

4. Imitating adults to control violence

After the child is three years old, if the beating behavior has not decreased, it is very likely that someone in the family is expressing some kind of appeal or discipline the child by "hitting" consciously or unintentionally. As a result, children learn the behavior of "hitting" in imitation.

Therefore, it is very normal for children to beat others in the process of mental development, and the key lies in how parents guide them.

2. What should I do if my child hits someone?

3. Express your position clearly

When a child uses violence, the most important thing a parent needs to do is let the child understand that his current behavior is not acceptable.

The best way to deal with it is: move the child aside, away from the "battlefield", use gentle but firm language, look the child in the eyes and say: "no hitting/no biting" to stop it.

2. Understand the reasons behind the behavior

The so-called incident must have a reason, and children will not beat people for no reason. Parents first need to help their children express their thoughts and emotions correctly, so as to understand the reasons behind their children's behavior and express their understanding of their children clearly. Then teach your child how to use the correct words or actions to express their thoughts.

3. Don’t ignore the apology process

Don't underestimate the process of a child's apology. Apology is actually a very important part. This allows children to learn to be responsible for their own actions, and at the same time to understand that they are not afraid of doing wrong, but they must learn to apologize and take responsibility.

When the child has sufficient language ability and comprehension ability, parents should encourage the child to say "I'm sorry" and teach the child to express friendliness by shaking hands, hugging, etc.

If the child still hits, take him away, let the child realize that bad behavior can lead to bad results, and need to take responsibility for his own behavior.

4. Teach children to express their emotions correctly

When a child's self-awareness develops rapidly, negative emotions appear more frequently. Therefore, it is very important to teach children to express their emotions correctly.

For example, when a child is unwilling to do something, he can say "no", he can play a balloon when he is angry, and he can ask an adult for help if there is something he can't handle...

Let the children understand that there are many ways to express their emotions, not necessarily through beating.

5. Parents lead by example

The power of role models is infinite, and children like to imitate their parents the most. This requires parents to be role models in their daily lives, and when encountering situations, they can control their emotions well, and do not shout or beat others. The first step in teaching children how to control their emotions is actually that we must learn to control our emotions first.