Is appreciative education just praising children? Big mistake! Correct 'appreciation education' should be like this

Once, Wenwen had a conflict with other children in the community. The other children hit Wenwen lightly, and Wenwen hit back immediately. After hitting the child and crying, Wenwen returned proudly. home. When he got home, Wenwen happily told his grandma what happened. Not only did grandma not blame Wenwen for hitting other children, but she also praised Wenwen: ''You are awesome! Don't be bullied outside! ''So Wen Wen was even more proud.

At this time, when my mother heard it, she immediately asked Wenwen to apologize to the children, and criticized Wenwen, so that Wenwen could not hit anyone at will. Grandma didn't understand why she had to apologize when she behaved like this without being bullied.

The mother thought that the other party just hit Wenwen lightly, and it was a joke between the children, but Wenwen made the other party cry. But the grandmother not only failed to stop the child's thoughts in time, but praised the child instead. Blind praise makes children not aware of their mistakes in time, but instead thinks that they have done a good job, which will cause children to always be fierce to other children outside.

It is true that praising children properly can make children have better habits, while praise wrongly promotes the development of bad habits in children and causes more harm to children. Therefore, we must understand the correct ''appreciation education'' in order to better educate children.

Regarding ''appreciation education'', parents should know these

1. ''Appreciation of education''

Appreciation education originates from the educational phenomenon that parents teach their children "learning to speak, learn to walk" and the success rate is 100%.

Appreciation education is not praise and encouragement, it refers to appreciating the results of children's behavior to strengthen children's behavior, it is to appreciate children's behavior process to stimulate children's interest and motivation; create an environment to indicate the direction of children's development; appropriate reminders to strengthen The child's psychological experience, to correct the child's bad behavior.

2. ''Appreciate education''≠ praise the child hard

Some parents' understanding of ''appreciation education'' is to praise the child hard, no matter what the child does, praise the child. When the child eats on time, praise him, and when the child studies on time, praise him. Or, when the child doesn't want to eat, praise him to let him eat well, and when the child doesn't want to study, praise him and let him study hard. Anyway, it is to praise, to praise the child vigorously. And, often ''you are the best! '',''You're the best! '', ''You are the smartest! ''Wait for words like that.

Blindly praising children like this will make them think that they are great and smart, and they will keep these praises on their lips all the year round, and the children will get tired of it, and it will not achieve good results at all.

3. ''Appreciation of education''≠can't criticize

Some parents will think that ''appreciation education'' is to praise children, and can not criticize children. Appreciation cannot be opposed to criticism, it is wrong. Appreciation education is to praise children for good behaviors, so as to motivate children to maintain good habits. When a child does something wrong, criticism is inevitable.

If there is only appreciation without criticism, children will not have an accurate judgment on their own behavior, and will not have the effect of education.

4. ''You are the best'' to say less

''You are the best'' may be the mantra of many parents. They always say this to their children, but if they always say this to their children, the children will get tired of it. Say. Say it when your child is doing the right thing, instead of always telling the child that he is great, great.

Disadvantages of Misuse of ''Appreciation Education''

1. It hinders the child's interpersonal communication

When the parent's ''appreciation and education'' is inappropriate, it will put the child in a situation of unknown right and wrong. Just like the grandma we mentioned earlier praised children for beating other children, thinking that such children would not be bullied or wronged outside. In fact, this is completely wrong and the complete opposite.

When children do wrong things, parents misuse ''appreciation education'', which will make children continue to behave wrongly. If it is considered right for the child to fight back inappropriately, the child will feel that he cannot be bullied outside. If you don’t touch yourself, you will use force to return it. Instead of seeing who is at fault for the whole thing, just use violence Problem solving, such children are at a disadvantage in relationships.

Moreover, if parents always praise their children, the child will think that he is really good, then he may feel that others are inferior to him, so he will ''look down'' on other children, and over time, the child will be isolated.

2. Children do not become more confident, but more conceited

Appropriate praise gives children more confidence, so that children can bravely challenge difficulties and make themselves more progress. Excessive praise is to give the child too much confidence, making the child feel that he is really just like the parents said, that is, he is very powerful, and he does the best, so it will cause the child to be conceited.

When a child thinks he is great, but is frustrated, his self-confidence will also be hit hard, forming a fragile and sensitive psychology.

3. Children's trust in their parents is reduced

Parents always praise their children for being great, and children think so too. But when a child goes to school or other public places and finds himself surpassed by his peers, he knows that he is not the best.

When parents want to encourage their children in the future, the children will remember that they used to say the same thing, but it was not the case. Therefore, it also reduces the child's trust in the parents.

The correct ''appreciation education'' is like this

1. Accurately praise the child

When parents praise their children, they usually say in a general way: ''You are the best! '',''You are very smart! ''Wait, it doesn't point out where the kid's sticks are and where the smarts are. If children always receive such information from their parents, they also think they are great and smart, but where is it reflected? do not know.

Therefore, if you want to praise a child, you must praise it accurately, and tell the child clearly and specifically, what is done well and which behavior is the best. In this way, the child can clearly know which of his actions is a good one, and he can also make his own judgment when encountering similar things in the future.

For example, if a child persists in studying for an afternoon without being distracted, parents can tell the child: ''You can study attentively for an afternoon without being distracted or slacking off, which is great. ''Speaking to the child in this way, the child can know that his ''good'' lies in being able to concentrate on his studies.

2. The words of praise are exported through a third party

Sometimes what parents tell their children, the children may not listen to them all, because this most intimate relationship actually gives the children some room for ''tiredness''. Sometimes parental compliments don't play a big role, because the child listens a lot and he's used to it. At this time, we can use a third party to complete the process of praising children.

For example, if we want to praise a child for being serious in studying, we can say to the child: ''The teacher called me today and told me that you performed very well in school and studied very seriously. The teacher hopes that you can continue to maintain the habit of concentrating on study. ''To praise the child for being polite, you can say: ''The aunt downstairs told me today, you are very polite, and you can always take the initiative to say hello! ''To praise the child for being helpful, you can say: ''Last time you helped your neighbor aunt bring something home, she praised you for being a good boy. ''

3. Timely reward and timely criticism

When a child does something worthy of praise, parents should express their attitude in time to let the child know that he has done the right thing. When encountering similar things in the future, he will also remember his parents' praise and continue to maintain good habits. When the child makes a mistake, they should not point out the mistake in time and let the child correct it, instead of turning out these things and telling the child what is wrong in the future.

Therefore, it is very important to reward and criticize in time, so that children can recognize the nature of their behavior at the moment, and also have a clear guide for the behavior of entering the throat.