If a child is found to be 'stealing', parents should see the psychological motivation behind the child, and don't just beat and scold them

Recently, a parent told me about his recent troubles. He has a 4-year-old son who is usually very well-behaved, but recently he started to bring toys home from kindergarten, so he was very worried, afraid that his son would steal things Stealing is addictive. Many parents see themselves at the beginning, usually well-behaved and lovely children, suddenly stealing things home without others' permission , I believe many parents will be very surprised.

In fact, it is not a very rare behavior for children to like to send some things home, and it does not mean that the child's character has deteriorated, or that the child has begun to engage in some morally corrupt behaviors. But this does not mean that there is no need to discipline children. The most important thing is that when parents encounter this situation, they must not blindly beat and scold their children. More importantly, do not label their children as thieves. Let the child feel ashamed.

When encountering this kind of situation, many parents will be very anxious at the first moment: "The child steals, how to deal with this behavior?" '' But for children, their concept of money has not yet been fully formed. They act in accordance with things, but in fact they just want this item, and they don't realize what their stealing means. Therefore, as a parent, it is very important to guide the child. Let the child know that this kind of behavior is wrong, and also avoid when the child encounters the same temptation, let the child control himself, and don't steal other people's things casually.

Many parents have doubts, so what should be done to prevent children from this behavior? The measures most parents take are to reason with their children, Newton’s children’s moral values, and even some extreme parents will beat and scold them. Many parents regard this behavior as simple stealing, but in fact, the psychological motivation behind the child requires parents to understand the truth.

When a child is found to be "stealing", parents should see the psychological motivation behind the child and stop beating and scolding

In fact, in real life, most people have the idea or behavior of stealing things in the past when they were young. As a parent, you should not immediately feel that your child has become bad just because the child makes this mistake for the first time. Strengthen discipline. Some scholars have done statistics, saying that the age when children first have the idea or behavior of stealing is often concentrated in the age group of 5 to 8 years old. As a parent, you must see the psychological motivation behind your child. Excessive beating and scolding will lead the child astray.

1. When the child is 3-5 years old, he does not steal things intentionally

In real life, as long as parents observe carefully, children will steal when they are around 3 or 4 years old. Children in this age group have this kind of behavior, which cannot be classified as stealing in the strict sense, because children in this period of time have not yet distinguished the difference between real life and their own inner thoughts, and in their hearts their own things and others' There is no difference in things. When they see something they like, their first thought is to keep it for themselves.

2. When the child is 6-10 years old, gradually understand that stealing is wrong

Compared with children aged 3 to 5, children in this time period will be a little more mature in their minds, and will gradually understand the education of their parents, and will gradually realize that stealing is a wrong behavior and should not be adopted. Through the guidance from their parents, they will also gradually realize the awareness of property rights.

If children in this age group steal, it can basically be considered intentional, but for children, the reasons behind their active stealing are also very complicated. It may be that they are eager to own this item, or they are spoiled by other companions, and they are just imitating. As a parent, it is very important for children to understand the motive behind the theft.

In the face of children's stealing behavior, don't blindly beat and scold them, use correct and scientific methods to guide children

1. Understand the psychological motivation behind it from the perspective of children

For the child's first stealing behavior, as a parent, you need to understand the child's motivation for stealing. The child does not have the concept of stealing and taking, or they do this behavior in order to attract the attention of parents. Parents need to understand clearly before they can solve the problem from the fundamental aspect.

Some experts once pointed out that children's problem behaviors are often expressing something to their parents. Steal, too. On the surface, it looks like a wrong behavior of the child, but in fact, it hides the material and psychological needs of the child. Therefore, it is very important to understand the psychological motivation behind it from the perspective of children.

British psychoanalyst Winnicott said that children's problem behaviors are often expressing something to their parents, hoping that their parents can see some of their feelings. When parents see them, not only the children's problem behaviors may change, The relationship between parents and children will also deepen. The behavior of children stealing, the reason behind it, maybe some children want to get this item, and some children may be because of desire. All in all, as a parent, you must clearly understand the reasons behind it, so that you can better guide your children for this reason, so that parents can prevent their children from recurring this behavior.

2. Less reprimanding children, use empathy to let children open their hearts

Many parents will be very anxious and nervous when facing their children's stealing behavior, as if if they don't make corrections quickly, their children's character will deteriorate. In fact, the matter is not that serious. Almost every child will have this kind of behavior when they grow up. As a parent, you must not label your child as a "thief".

Many parents will ask at this time, when their children steal, they will habitually hide it from their parents. If parents want their children to admit that they have committed the theft, it is actually not a very simple matter, because they will Weigh, what is the price you have to pay if you tell the truth. May be beaten and scolded by parents. The stricter the parent, the easier it is for the child to lie. And a relaxed conversation atmosphere will make it easier for children to open up.

Parents may wish to change the way of talking, just like chatting with a partner, calmly chat with the child about the process, use empathy to understand the child's behavior from the child's perspective, and express to the child ' 'I would like to hear your thoughts. '',''I understand you. ''Sincere attitude. In this way, the child will not have too much psychological burden, so that the child can open up to the parents without any psychological burden.

3. Do a good job of emphasizing the awareness of property rights from an early age, so that children can establish a correct view of money

Many parents have this kind of mistake, which means that they think that their children are still young and should not let them get in touch with money prematurely. When children take the initiative to bring up the concept of money, many parents adopt methods that mostly avoid talking about it. In fact, in real life, children need to have a correct view of money and let them know that money is obtained through correct labor channels. It is very important to understand the concept of money.

At the same time, as a parent, we must also emphasize our own and other people's awareness of property rights from an early age, and make it clear that our own things are our own, and we should not take other people's things. If we want other people's things, we must first obtain the consent of others. We must educate them well from an early age, so that children only do the right thing, and we will not do anything that violates the moral law.

In this way, children have divided the bottom line of morality and law in their minds since they were young, and gradually form good habits, so that small movements of taking advantage of others will gradually disappear. Although stealing sounds like a very serious thing, as long as we discipline and guide it, children will gradually realize that it is a wrong behavior.