If a child is found 'stealing', parents should see the psychological motivation behind the child, and don't just beat and scold

Recently, a parent told me about his recent troubles. He has a 4-year-old son who is usually very well behaved, but recently he started to bring toys home from kindergarten, so he was very worried and worried that his son would steal things. Addicted to stealing. Many parents will be very surprised when they see themselves, usually well-behaved and lovely children, suddenly stealing things home without the permission of others .

In fact, it is not a very rare behavior for children to like to send some things home, and it does not mean that the child's character has deteriorated, or that the child has begun to behave in some morally corrupt ways. But this does not mean that children do not need to be disciplined. The most important thing is that when parents encounter such a situation, they must not blindly beat and scold their children, and more importantly, do not label their children as thieves. Make the child feel ashamed.

In such a situation, many parents will be very anxious for the first time: ''The child steals things, how should we deal with this kind of behavior? '' But for children, their concept of money has not been fully formed, and they act in conformity with things. In fact, they simply want this item, and they don't realize what their stealing behavior means. Therefore, it is very important for parents to guide their children. Let the child know that this behavior is wrong, and also avoid when the child encounters the same temptation, but also let the child control himself, do not steal other people's things casually.

Many parents are confused, so what can be done to prevent children from this behavior? Most of the measures taken by parents are to reason with their children, Newton's children's moral values, and even some extreme parents will take the behavior of beating and scolding. Many parents regard this behavior as simple stealing, but in fact, the psychological motivation behind the child requires parents to understand the truth.

If a child is found to be stealing things, parents should see the psychological motivation behind the child, and don’t just beat and scold them.

In fact, in real life, most people have the idea or behavior of stealing things in the past when they were young. As a parent, you should not immediately feel that the child has become bad just because the child makes such a mistake for the first time. Strengthen discipline. Some scholars have done statistics, saying that the age at which children first have the idea or behavior of stealing is often concentrated in the age group of 5 to 8 years old. As a parent, you need to see the psychological motivation behind your child. Too much beating and scolding will lead your child astray.

1. When the child is 3-5 years old, his heart is not deliberately stealing things

In real life, as long as parents observe carefully, no matter the child is about 3 or 4 years old, there will be behaviors of stealing. Children in this age group have this kind of behavior, which cannot be classified as stealing in the strict sense, because children in this period have not yet distinguished the difference between real life and their inner thoughts, their own things in their hearts and other people's. Things are no different. When they see something they like, their first thought is to take it for themselves.

2. By the time the child is 6-10 years old, he gradually understands that stealing is wrong

Compared with children aged 3 to 5, children in this period will have a slightly more mature mind, gradually understand the education of their parents, and gradually realize that stealing is a wrong behavior and cannot be taken. Through the guidance from their parents, they will gradually become aware of the awareness of property rights.

If a child at this age steals, it can basically be regarded as intentional, but for children, the reasons behind their initiative to steal are also very complicated. It may be that they are eager to have this item, or they are damaged by other companions, and it is just a simple imitation. As a parent, it is very important for your child to understand the motivation behind the theft.

In the face of children's stealing behavior, do not blindly beat and scold children, guide children with correct and scientific methods

1. From the perspective of children to understand the psychological motivation behind

For the child's first stealing behavior, as a parent, you need to understand the child's motive for stealing first. The child will do this behavior if there is no concept of stealing and taking, or to attract the attention of parents. Parents need to understand clearly in order to solve the problem from the fundamental aspects.

Some experts have pointed out that children's problem behaviors are often expressing something to their parents. Steal, too. On the surface, it is a wrong behavior of the child, but in fact it hides the child's material needs and psychological needs. Therefore, it is very important to understand the psychological motivation behind it from the perspective of the child.

British psychoanalyst Winnicott said that children's problem behavior is often expressing something to their parents, hoping that parents can see some of their feelings. When parents see it, not only the child's problem behavior may change, The bond between parents and children will also deepen. The reason behind the child's stealing behavior may be that some children want to get the item, and some children may be eager. All in all, as a parent, you must clearly understand the reason behind it, in order to better guide the child for this reason, so that the parent can prevent the child from repeating this behavior.

2. Don’t scold the child less and use empathy to make the child open up

Many parents are very anxious and nervous about their children's stealing behavior, as if their children's character will deteriorate as long as they are not corrected quickly. In fact, the matter is not that serious. Almost every child will have this kind of behavior in the process of growing up. As a parent, don't label your child ''thief''.

Many parents will ask at this time that when their children steal, they habitually hide it from their parents. If parents want their children to admit that they have committed theft, it is not a very simple matter, because the children will Consider the price you would have to pay if you told the truth. May be scolded by parents. The stricter the parent, the easier it is for the child to lie. A relaxed conversation atmosphere will make it easier for children to open their hearts.

Parents may wish to change the way of talking, just like chatting with partners, calmly chat with the child about the process, use empathy to understand the child's behavior from the child's point of view, and express ' 'I would like to hear your thoughts. '',''I understand you. ''Sincere attitude. In this way, the child will not have too much psychological burden, which will allow the child to open up to the parents without any psychological burden.

3. Do a good job of emphasizing the awareness of property rights from an early age, so that children can establish a correct view of money

Many parents have this wrong meaning that they think that their children are still young and should not let their children touch money too early. When children take the initiative to put forward the concept of money, many parents take most of the methods to avoid talking about it. In fact, in real life, children need to have a correct view of money and let them know that money is obtained through the correct labor channels. It is important to understand the concept of money.

At the same time, as a parent, you should also emphasize the awareness of your own and others' property rights from a young age, and make it clear that your own things are yours, and we should not take other people's things. If you want other people's things, you must first obtain the consent of others. We must educate them well since childhood, and ask children to only do the right things, and we will not do anything that violates the moral law.

In this way, the children will divide the bottom line of morality and law in their hearts from a young age, and gradually form good habits, so that the small actions of holding the sheep will gradually disappear. Although stealing sounds like a very serious thing, as long as we discipline and guide, children will gradually realize that this is a wrong behavior.