Children are always coquettish in front of their mothers, parents give too much love, children are prone to over-dependence
Introduction
Many children don't cry or make trouble when they are alone, but when they see their mother, they reveal their weakness and immediately cry and beg for a hug. When many mothers see their children, they mistakenly think that their children love their mothers, which is a good thing.
The concepts of ''attachment'' and ''dependence'' are blurred
Some mothers will say: ''My children are timid and afraid of the dark, and they can only fall asleep and feel safe without their mother's company. Does this also have a bad effect? ''
In fact, children before the age of three are building a normal attachment relationship with their mothers. This relationship can strengthen the bond between mother and child, and give children a sense of security and trust, which is a normal performance for children at this age.
And ''dependence'' is to rely too much on the mother, unable to be independent, children often worry about gains and losses, which is an unhealthy state. Therefore, it is the key to distinguish between ''attachment'' and ''dependence'' if you want your child not to act like a spoiled child.
- If the habit of acting like a spoiled child is not corrected, what negative effects will it have?
Cause the child to have no opinion. Children can form personal consciousness at about two years old, that is to say, from this time on, if parents do not take the initiative to guide their children to be independent, they will cause their children to rely on the outside world and have no opinion in the future.
The child resists the outside world and refuses to socialize. Many children need the guidance of their mothers before they dare to contact and communicate with outsiders. In the long run, children will lose the initiative in social activities. Without the guidance of their mothers, children will easily close their hearts and lead to social fear.
There is no sense of security and the mind is fragile. Children who are too dependent on their mothers will regard the connection between themselves and their mothers as the only source of security, but mothers cannot accompany the children all the time, so that the children will be troubled by gains and losses, their minds will be fragile, and they will be easily injured.
After distinguishing the basic concepts of ''dependence'' and ''attachment'', mothers should respond to the different manifestations of their children.
If the child has an independent consciousness and just likes to be with the mother, this may be the effect of ''psychological attachment''; if the child needs the mother's guidance in everything, and cannot be separated from the mother for a moment, it is too dependent.
Second, in the face of the child's unhealthy dependence, how should the mother guide it?
Empathy and Caring
Parents must first clarify the source of their children's emotions. The source of this psychological dependence may be early attachment. Mothers should give their children enough security before cultivating their children to be truly independent.
If the child wants to ask for a hug, there is a high probability that he wants to gain a sense of security from the mother through physical contact, which is very common in children who are just learning to walk. Faced with this situation, the mother can hug the child or touch the child's head, and then encourage the child to walk by himself. Use physical contact + verbal encouragement to give children confidence, so that children will have the courage to walk alone.
emotion transfer
The emotional connection between the child and the mother has already begun during pregnancy. This connection is stronger than the acquired connection with others after birth. The child will naturally ''prefer' the mother, so the mother should encourage the child to contact the outside world, the mother The encouragement is the most trustworthy for children.
When a mother is coquettish in the face of her child, she must first respond to the child, and then properly train the child to find more sources of security. Such sources can be children's hobbies such as painting, music, etc., or making friends.
Of course, cultivating the connection between the child and the father is also a way of ''emotional transfer'', and parents should actively play the role of the father in the growth of the child.
independent guidance
This approach means that mothers should encourage their children to learn to be independent. After children learn to walk, they should consciously explore the world before they can form a complete cognition of the world.
If the child asks for hugs and comfort, mothers first try to soothe the child's emotions, and then tell the child the meaning and importance of independence.
family upbringing
Growing up in a loving home, children tend to develop a stronger sense of self. Only with a sense of satisfaction and fulfillment in life will children be more willing to explore the world.
Children's nature is to love novelty and exploration. In many cases, an unhealthy family environment will limit the pace of children's exploration. Therefore, parents should not bring home the pressure of work and interpersonal relationships, which will cause children to continue to feel insecure.
When parents see their children acting like spoiled children, they need to respond rationally, because children relying too much on their mothers may also lead to a series of negative effects. The above four methods are believed to help many mothers.
Author's Note
Sometimes, over-indulgence or indifference may cause children to feel insecure. Therefore, parents must not go to extremes in education, but skillfully use children's attachment feelings to teach children to develop independent habits. Actively look at the outside world.