Children always act like a baby in front of their mothers. Parents give too much love, and children tend to be overly dependent
Introduction
Many children don't cry or make trouble when they are alone, but when they see their mothers, they expose their "weaknesses" and immediately cry for a hug. Many mothers mistakenly think that their children love their mothers when they see their children like this, which is a good thing, but they don't know that children's excessive dependence on their mothers will also lead to some negative effects.
The concepts of ''attachment'' and ''dependence'' are blurred
Some mothers will say: "My children are timid and afraid of the dark, and they need their mothers to accompany them to fall asleep and feel safe. Is there any bad effect?" ''
In fact, before the age of three, children are establishing a normal attachment relationship with their mothers. This relationship can strengthen the bond between mother and child and give children a sense of security and trust. This is a normal performance for children in this age group.
And "dependence" means relying too much on the mother, unable to be independent, and children often worry about gains and losses, which is an unhealthy state. Therefore, the key to distinguishing between "attachment" and "dependence" is to keep children from acting like a baby.
- If the habit of acting like a baby is not corrected, what negative impact will it have?
Cause the child to have no assertiveness. Children can form personal consciousness when they are about two years old. That is to say, from this time on, if parents do not take the initiative to guide their children to be independent, they will become dependent on the outside world and have no independent opinions.
The child resists the outside world and refuses to socialize. Many children need the guidance of their mothers before they dare to contact and communicate with outsiders. In the long run, children will lose the initiative in social activities. Without the guidance of their mothers, children tend to close their hearts and lead to social fear.
Feeling insecure and vulnerable. Children who rely too much on their mothers will regard the connection between themselves and their mothers as the only source of security, but mothers cannot always be with the children all the time, so that the children will worry about gains and losses, have a fragile heart, and be easily injured.
After distinguishing the basic concepts of "dependence" and "attachment", the mother should respond to the different performances of the child.
If the child has a sense of independence and just likes to be with the mother, this may be the role of "psychological attachment"; if the child needs the mother's guidance in everything and cannot be separated from the mother for a moment, it is overly dependent.
- In the face of the child's unhealthy dependence, how should the mother guide it?
Empathy Act
Parents must first clarify the source of their children's emotions. The source of this dependence may be early attachment. Mothers should first give their children enough sense of security before they can cultivate their children to be truly independent.
If a child asks for a cuddle, it's most likely wanting to feel reassured by the mother through physical contact, which is common in toddlers. Faced with this situation, the mother can hug the child or touch the child's head, and then encourage the child to walk by himself. Use physical contact + verbal encouragement to give children confidence, so that children will have the courage to walk alone.
emotional transfer method
The emotional connection between the child and the mother has already begun during pregnancy. This connection is stronger than the acquired connection with others after birth. The child will naturally "prefer" the mother, so the mother should encourage the child to contact the outside world. Your encouragement is the most trustworthy thing for children.
When mothers face their children acting like a baby, they should first respond to the children, and then properly train the children to find more sources of security. This source can be children's hobbies such as painting, music, etc., or making friends.
Of course, cultivating the connection between children and their father is also a way of "emotional transfer". Parents should actively play the role of fathers in their children's growth.
independent guidance
This approach means that the mother should encourage the child to learn to be independent. After children learn to walk, they should consciously explore the world in order to form a complete understanding of the world.
If the child asks for hugs and comfort, mothers first try to appease the child's emotions, and then tell the child the meaning and importance of independence.
family upbringing
Growing up in a loving home, children tend to develop a stronger sense of self. Only when they have a sense of satisfaction and fulfillment in life, children will be more willing to explore the world.
Children's nature is to love novelty and exploration. In many cases, an unhealthy family environment will limit the pace of children's exploration. Therefore, parents should not bring the pressure of work and interpersonal communication home, causing children to continue to feel insecure.
When parents see their children acting like a baby, they need to respond rationally, because the children's too much dependence on their mothers may also lead to a series of negative effects. I believe the above four methods can help many mothers.
Author's message
Sometimes, excessive doting or indifference may lead to children's insecurity. Therefore, parents must not "go to extremes" in education, but skillfully use children's attachment emotions to teach children to develop the habit of independence. Actively look out at the world.