Is the child rebellious and disobedient? It is a parent-child 'power struggle', and doing so can jump out of the whirlpool

I saw a video on Weibo. The mother was scolding her child for coming home late. The child ignored it, lying on the sofa and said that he wanted to sleep, but was taught a more severe lesson by the mother. The mother picked up the pillow and smashed it at her. children, let the children ''get out'', parent-child conflicts are on the verge of breaking out.

Children clamored to run away from home and quarreled with their parents. The child's father refused to let him leave the house, and after slapping the child's face, he said to the child in a hurry: "I was right when I was wrong!" ''

The child in the video said: I have never felt happiness in this home. My parents have never cared about their own affairs and mood, and they have never asked themselves whether they are doing well or not.

This video has aroused discussion among netizens, and one netizen commented below: This kind of family is very common, my family is like this. Other netizens even commented that they were born in a worse family.

This kind of family is a torture for both children and parents, and is caught in the ''power struggle'' between parent and child every day. Children do not feel the love of their parents, they are rebellious and disobedient, their parents do not get the love and respect of their children, and they discipline their children with rudeness and strength. The warmth from the family seems to be gone.

The strength that builds and strengthens the family is love, the faithful, pure love between father and mother, father and child, mother and child for each other. - Sukhomlinsky

The child is rebellious and disobedient, is it really that the child has become ''bad''?

As a parent, what should you do to get out of the abyss of parent-child conflict and ease the relationship with your child?

Children and parents are caught in a ''power struggle'', parents should jump out of the whirlpool like this

Parents should avoid the following behaviors

Use a strong imperative tone

For many parents with strong self-awareness, they give their children various orders every day. They tend to ignore their children's feelings and use their own thoughts to judge right or wrong for their children.

Every time mother An An comes back from get off work, she will see the toys scattered all over the house. It is the child's ''masterpiece''. Mother An An will always use an imperative tone to ask the child to clean up the toys, such as: ''Are you there? Toys must be put away before eating''.

Although An An was not happy at the beginning, she still obediently put the toys into the box. Gradually, my mother found that this method no longer worked, An An no longer listened to her words, the toys all over the floor remained intact, and An An seemed to be using her own way to ''resist'' her mother's orders.

I believe that many parents take punishments in the face of their children's disobedience. Some parents are in a hurry and will yell at their children or start hitting their children, causing the children to cry.

However, no matter how the parents discipline, the child will not act according to the parent's order, and criticizing or simply beating up is the most direct and strongest way for parents to express their dissatisfaction with the child.

The possible consequence of doing this is that the child becomes dissatisfied with the parents, becomes more and more rebellious, goes his own way, and finally does not even care about the punishment of the parents, and truly becomes a ''stone'' that is soft and hard not to eat.

Indicates the child's life''

Compared with Western parents, Chinese parents appear to be too intrusive in their children's lives. Specifically, ''what time should I go to bed''''what time should I defecate''''what time should I read and study''.

American parents don't care about their children after they are 18 years old, while Chinese parents still want to arrange their children's work and marriage after their children graduate from college.

In the concept of Chinese parents, no matter how old a child is, parents have the right to control their child's life. If a child resists his parents, he is ''not sensible'''''disobedient'', and even worse, he will be labeled as ''unfilial''. For parents who do not understand themselves and like to ''point fingers'', children naturally choose ''rebellious'. ''

Lack of communication with children

Behind many rebellious children are the indifference and inaction of their parents, who replace ''language'' with ''violence'', ''concern'' with ''laissez-faire'', and ''criticism'' instead of '' praise' ''.

Many families raise their children under the lap of their grandparents because of work. They often don’t see their parents’ children. They like to use various methods to attract the attention of parents, so that parents can shift their attention from work to themselves. body.

But parents who lack communication with their children all the year round often do not choose to talk and understand, they only know that their children have made mistakes, and 'filial sons are born under the stick', so that the children and their parents are drifting away.

Let children re-recognize the warmth of family

learn to talk to children

Children are an independent personality, and as they grow up, children also have many ''mindful thoughts''. Many parents habitually position themselves at the top of their children and issue various orders to their children. They always say to their children: ''Watch less TV'''''Don't go out'''''No cellphones'' and so on.

Parents don't use such a strong tone to their friends, but they use it with peace of mind for their children. Parents may wish to treat their children as if they were friends with a different tone. ''Baby, can you rest your eyes for a while? ''''If you eat snacks every day, you will become a little fat and not handsome. ''Wait, then play with the toys and have a heart-to-heart conversation with the child, which works better than harsh commands.

learn to understand children

This is an example that can be seen in everyone's life. Parents ask their children to share their favorite toys in their hands with other children to play. If the children do not want to play, the parents begin to criticize the children for being stingy and ignorant.

Parents should learn to empathize. If others ask them to share their beloved things, I believe most of them will refuse.

Parents should realize that children's refusal to share is not selfish and ignorant, but human nature.

The correct way for parents is to understand their children. If a child is really unwilling to share the same toy with other children, parents should not force it. They can let their children choose other toys for their children to play with, so that children can learn to share without harming them. , find ways to let children play with children.

learn to praise children

The family habit of giving gifts to each other helps foster genuine friendships between parents and children. Its main meaning is not in the gift itself, but in caring for the loved ones, in the hope of thanking them for their care. - Irina

Many parents like to say that their children are ''stupid''''''not smart''. In some gatherings, due to the humble Chinese etiquette, they will deliberately depreciate their children. In fact, this practice can cause great harm to the child's psychology.

The children are young and can’t tell the polite words. They only know that their parents will tell their own ''ugly things''. Over time, they will think that they are actually bad and that no other children are good, and their parents are actually very dissatisfied with themselves. , resulting in inferiority complex, and began to complain to the parents.

Therefore, when a child does something worthy of praise, parents should actively encourage and praise the child. Parents' encouragement is extremely important for children. Seizing important opportunities to praise and encourage children can make children more confident and sunny. Even introverted parents who maintain a dignified image all year round need to be satisfied with their children in action.

A compliment from a parent can let children know that their parents care about them. Children will reduce the frequency of rebellion and know what they are doing is right, which is worthy of praise from their parents.

Dreiser once said that the harmonious family air is a kind of flower in the world. Nothing is more gentle than it, and nothing is more suitable for cultivating a family's nature to be strong and upright.

Without a peaceful family, there will be no peaceful society. May parents and children in the world be happy forever.