Children always deny themselves? There may be 'borderline personality', parents need to be vigilant

One night, I got an email from a mom.

She wrote in the email:

My daughter is in third grade this year, which is a turning point in her studies. She also no longer has enough time to play, homework, cram school, busy round and round, and her smile is much less.

Soon after the semester started, she was depressed for several nights before going to bed. Always come to my room to sleep with me, and say to me: ''Mom, I think I may be the most unpopular person in the class, and the children don't like me. I don't have good grades, I don't look good, I'm really useless. ''

I just thought she might not have done well on the exam for the start of school, so I felt a little down. Because whether it is the teacher, other children or even parents, they often praise my daughter, because she is really enthusiastic and helpful, and everyone likes her. He comforted her with a few words like "Learn to go with the flow", and then coaxed her to sleep. So at first I thought he was saying this on purpose, just kidding, but I didn't take it to heart

Until these few nights she mentioned it again, and she was crying very sadly, and kept asking me: ''Mom, I'm so useless, shouldn't I exist in this world? ''I'm really scared, what happened to the child? Why does she always deny herself what should I do?

In fact, this mother still observes more carefully, and ordinary parents may ignore it directly. The child is always self-denial and may be ''Borderline Personality Disorder''.

What is a ''borderline personality''?

''Borderline personality'' is a psychological disorder between neurosis and psychosis. The manifestations of borderline personality disorder are diverse, jumpy, and unstable. It can manifest as anxiety, depression, fear, as well as ''allergic hallucinations'' and ''allergic relational delusions''.

Usually children suffer from ''Borderline Personality Disorder'' because of their childhood experiences. They were not cared for and affirmed by their parents in childhood, and their shining points were covered up. Gradually, they began to Get used to denying yourself.

''Borderline Personality Disorder'' is a relatively serious mental disorder that, once diagnosed, can be difficult to treat. Therefore, parents must pay attention when their children begin to deny themselves frequently.

What are the typical manifestations of ''borderline personality''?

Low empathy and empathy

Children with ''Borderline Personality Disorder'' tend to be aloof, giving them a feeling of alienation.

When playing with other children, if a child is injured, it is almost impossible for them to take the initiative to comfort them, offer help and send the child to the infirmary. And when they see stray cats and dogs on the road, their hearts are not disturbed, let alone bring them home because of distress.

Children with ''Borderline Personality Disorder'' lack empathy for the people and things around them in their lives. Even when family members or friends around them show distress, they don't have significant mood swings. They have low levels of empathy and empathy, and are very indifferent to everything.

Some children even abuse small animals. For example, drowning stray dogs in water, stepping on ants frantically, etc. This is indeed surprising and terrifying for parents.

outbursts of anger without regard for consequences

A parent of a child with a ''borderline personality'' told me: her child has always been very good, and has always been very sensible and obedient.

One day, I took him to the mall and happened to meet his favorite Transformers in a toy store co-branded by Marvel. But there are too many people, so I plan to take him to dinner first, and then bring him over to buy it for him when there are fewer people.

Who knows, I just finished talking to him, and he, who never gets angry, burst into tears in an instant and sat on the ground. Crying, "My mother is not good""""My mother is not even willing to buy a Transformer for me""""My mother doesn't love me at all", and finally even shouted out.

I comforted him and persuaded him, but it was no use. There were many people coming and going in the mall, passing by us and looking at us. Children usually pay attention to their appearance, but they don't know what happened that day, and they don't care about anything.

This is actually a typical manifestation of ''Borderline Personality Disorder''. Such children will have uncontrollable anger and are very irritable. Moreover, it is usually not obvious, and even the parents won't notice it, but once you lose your temper, it will be a devastating outbreak.

At this time, the child will be reckless, and parents will not listen to any reasoning with him. They've lost their minds completely, and what happens next is entirely on their instinct.

Suspicious

Children with ''Borderline Personality Disorder'' are very sensitive to emotions, and they are very sensitive to the interpersonal relationships around them, and even the little things that happen to each other.

If they see other people talking secretly, they will think they are speaking ill of themselves. And if family members or friends are sometimes too busy to respond to their requests in a timely manner, they may feel that they no longer love themselves.

This kind of child will observe very small things, and speculate suspiciously from some unintentional little things or small actions of people around them, thinking that they hate themselves. They are very insecure and are often in a bad mood. They often feel lonely and feel that they are not liked by everyone, and that they are the object of disgust and hurt.

no trust

Children with ''Borderline Personality Disorder'' are very eager to gain the trust of others, but they are suspicious and suspicious, and it is difficult to trust others. They have a strong emotional need for others, but they can also be very demanding.

They hope to have a lot of good friends who care about and love themselves, but often because of their own sensitivity and suspiciousness, it is difficult to trust friends, and they are cold and reserved, and it is also difficult to make friends. Sensitive and vulnerable, they will chalk it up to the fact that no one likes them, so they have no friends.

They do not have the ability to trust their friends, and they are also very insecure in their family relationships. It is difficult for them to give up their sincerity. On the one hand, they hope that they can also get the attention of others, on the other hand, they are on guard everywhere, worrying about being hurt by others, so they are always ready to retreat.

How should parents deal with children with "borderline personality"?

Communicate with children more

For children with ''Borderline Personality Disorder'', parents must pay attention to their psychological growth and communicate more with them. You can't beat and scold your child just to quickly meet your expectations based on your own preferences.

Parents must communicate with their children often, pay attention to their emotions, be like their good friends, understand them, and give them the care they need.

Don't deny the child

Children who always live in the denial of their parents will not see their own merits. And gradually, they will form habitual thinking, criticize and deny themselves unconsciously. Such children will have low self-esteem, feel that they are worthless, they will be indecisive, and they will be afraid of the challenges of life. Of course, this is also a major cause of children suffering from ''Borderline Personality Disorder''.

Teach children to be open-minded.

Parents should teach their children to be open-minded. No one is perfect, and life doesn't have to be everything. In many things, the process of hard work is more important than the result.

Happy growth is more important than anything else, learn to enjoy the process. We must value failure as much as success, and we must look at all results with an open-minded attitude. Experiencing a rich life and getting exercise on your own is worth it.