Eat to feed, sleep to coax? If you want your child to be 'independent', it is important to introduce 'competitors'
Many times, we always find that as the child grows older. The child did not become more and more independent, but became more and more clingy. Many times, she was willing to eat, feed, sleep, coax, and serve her in everything.
The 3-year-old neighbor's child is already fully capable of eating by herself. At first, she was very happy when she could eat by herself. Every day, she danced with a spoon to feed herself, but every time she was able to eat, she was very happy. One time, he always covered his clothes and face with food. His grandmother couldn't stand it, so she took the spoon and fed the child by herself. However, since then, the child has been too lazy to do it himself. A year has passed, and now the child has to eat from his grandmother or his parents.
This little girl's sleep is also very difficult. Before going to bed every night, she always has to play with toys and move the toys to the bed. If her parents don't hold her in their hands to coax her, then both of them don't have to think about it tonight. Go to sleep. Once she was put on the bed and she was not given a toy, she would yell and cry on the bed, and the penetrating power of her voice should not be underestimated, so she was always complained by the neighbors because Disturbing people in the middle of the night.
Children need to be coaxed to sleep and to eat. Parents want their children to be independent, so it is very important to introduce ''competitors''. In fact, this is the "catfish effect" in psychology, so what is the "catfish effect"? How should we use it?
About the "Catfish Effect"
In fact, competitor awareness is the ''catfish effect'' that we can hear about. What about the catfish effect?
Let's start with such a story." Norwegians like to eat sardines, especially live fish. The price of live fish in the market is much higher than that of dead fish. So the fishermen always try to make the sardines return to the fishing port alive. But despite all the efforts, most of the sardines died of suffocation in the middle. But there is one fishing boat that always brings most of the sardines back to the fishing port alive. The captain kept it strictly a secret. It wasn't until the captain's death that the mystery was revealed.
It turned out that the captain had put a catfish, which mainly eats fish, into the tank full of sardines. After the catfish entered the fish tank, they swam around because of the unfamiliar environment. The sardines were very nervous when they saw the catfish. In this way, the problem of lack of oxygen in the sardines will be solved, and the sardines will not die. In this way, the sardines returned to the fishing port alive and well. This is the famous ''catfish effect''. ''
This story tells us the origin of the catfish effect, and also explains what the catfish effect is. In essence, the competitor effect is the catfish effect.
So why is the catfish effect important? How can we cultivate children's ''catfish effect'' or ''competitor'' awareness?
Why is the "catfish effect" effective for children's independent development?
1. For parents
''The catfish effect for ''Fisherman'' lies in the application of incentives. Fishermen use catfish as an incentive to keep the sardines swimming to keep them alive for maximum benefit. ''Similarly, in the education of children, if parents want to achieve the goal of making their children independent, they also need the existence of catfish-type talents in the family, so as to change our situation of eating and sleeping.
2. For children
The catfish effect for ''sardines'' lies in the lack of awareness. Our children have too little awareness of anxiety, and blindly pursue stability and follow-up; but the reality of living conditions is that sardines are not allowed to have a moment of peace. That is to say, as our children grow older, our children must learn to be independent and learn to do their own things by themselves.
In our catfish effect, how ''sardines'' should and must be active and actively looking for new ways if they don't want to suffocate to death. Similarly, in our family, after the introduction of the catfish effect, our children have to eat and sleep by themselves if they want to not be hungry, or they will always suffer.
Therefore, the catfish effect or the introduction of competitors can better cultivate our children to be independent.
3. For competitors
The catfish effect for ''catfish'' is self-actualization. Competitors are the ones our children are bound to encounter as they grow up. Our competitors emerged out of a need to acquire themselves, not out of good motives to begin with. But the motive of our catfish-type talents here is to let our children learn to be independent, and they will no longer have the bad habit of coaxing to sleep and coaxing to eat. So, the competitor here is the role of ''catfish'' to help our children grow and be independent.
Therefore, from the above three aspects, we explain why the introduction of competitors is important for the independent development of our children.
How to Cleverly Use the "Catfish Effect" to Cultivate Children's Awareness of Independence
How to introduce competitors skillfully is the most important step in our catfish effect. In our fishermen, what they do is put catfish directly in the pond, and then the sardines have to swim because of the shaking of the catfish.
So in our family, how can we let our children learn to be independent through the catfish effect?
- Find a companion for your child
I believe that many parents will find that once there are guests at home, especially those of the same age as the children, the children will eat a lot without us coaxing them to eat, why is this?
In fact, during this process, our children saw the competition and felt that another child would eat what they liked and compete for what they liked. How can they still be like before, they have to feed their parents whatever they eat? No more, I haven't eaten enough yet.
Children's psychological activities are the most direct and purest. Only when we establish a competitor effect for our children will our children feel that their life is to learn to be independent and to learn to do their own things by themselves.
Therefore, finding a playmate for the child and letting the child have a sense of competition is the best and most effective way for our child to be independent.
- Parents and children make an agreement
If we want our children to be independent, we need to introduce a competitor, then this competitor can also be our parents. For example, we can make an agreement before a meal that we can see who eats the meal fast, but can’t swallow it. Chew slowly and eat more slowly. You can make a small request to the slow eater.
At this time, our children will have a sense of competition, and in the process, they will learn to be independent and eat by themselves. Before our child goes to bed, we can also make an agreement with the child that if the child falls asleep earlier than us, then tomorrow’s breakfast can be prepared for the child’s favorite food, so that the child’s psychology has an expectation, and at the same time, it is also with our parents. compete.
Therefore, in the family, our parents are the children's best competitors and the best catalysts for children to learn to be independent.
- Send your child to kindergarten
Almost all children in kindergarten are very well behaved, why is this? In fact, this is the so-called competitor effect; there are many children in the kindergarten, and the children are crying. If they are the most obedient children, then our children will stand out. This is what children understand.
At home, my little niece is always the one who gets up very angry and doesn't take a nap, but since she went to kindergarten, in order to get the teacher's praise, she is always the first to fall asleep in the nap, and the first to be at home when she wakes up. Those who put on good clothes and shoes will help other children to put on shoes, the purpose is to get praise from the teacher.