When did you find out your child was cheating for the first time? Parents do these three points in time, which can affect their children's life!
Cheating is rarely mentioned in our daily life, but according to survey research, 60% of primary and middle school students have cheated in exams, and even more than 90% of students admit that they have plagiarized others' homework. The survey data also shows that 34% of parents never talk about cheating with their children. It is not difficult to find that "cheating" has always been lurking in children's study and life, but many parents have never noticed it.
Many children do not have a thorough understanding of "cheating". Some children even think that "cheating" is helping each other. The correct answer of the test paper was copied to the deskmate''. Children don't know that copying the answers in the exam is "cheating", and copying the answers to classmates violates the rules of the exam, which is also considered "cheating". It's all because children don't have enough awareness of "cheating".
1. The first time a child "cheating" is often a cognitive problem
The famous former Soviet educator Luna Charsky said: ''Mistakes are the tuition fees that must be paid for progress''. Everyone will have a first time, make a mistake for the first time, fail the exam for the first time, come first in the exam for the first time, "cheating" for the first time, when the child "cheated" for the first time, Have the parents reflected on any issues? Is it the child's own problem, or the parents' education of the child is not thorough enough, in fact, the child's first "cheating" has the following reasons:
- Moral cognition
Children are at an ignorant age, and they don't know the dangers of "cheating", and they don't know that "cheating" is a wrong approach. Children don't have enough awareness of "cheating". Parents did not instill the idea of "cheating" in their children in a timely manner, causing the children to think that "cheating" was nothing, and the children's awareness of "cheating" was not clear enough, thus making this mistake .
- Behavioral cognition
Likewise, the child doesn't know that he's ''cheating'' which is wrong, maybe he thinks ''cheating'' is fun and a no-brainer. It's cool to copy the answer directly, maybe he thinks that "cheating" can help others, but he hasn't understood the "punishment" after "cheating", what price does he need to pay for "cheating"? In terms of behavior, the child's restraint is not enough, and he cannot control himself very well. As long as his peers instigate him, the child will "unknowingly" cheat.
- Parental indulgence
Many parents feel like this:
Cheating is not a big deal, right? Who hasn't cheated?
I have seen children cheating a long time ago. We have to take into account the children's self-esteem. Wouldn't it be over if we turned a blind eye?
If you cheat, you cheat, and it doesn't matter if you take a look.
Parents' connivance will lead children to the edge of self-harm. Cheating is tantamount to cheating, and it also has a bad impact on learning. This is very important, but most parents are not aware of this problem.
2. Cheating is a human tendency
Cheating has become the norm? In the United States, Kessler International Corporation conducted a survey on "student cheating", and the results showed that: 86% of students claimed that they cheated in school, and 54% of students believed that cheating was okay. Accepted that staying competitive is necessary, only 12% of students said they would never cheat. And more students will have such a mentality: As long as they are not caught, they will be fine, and even if they are caught, the punishment is too light. Cheating has obviously become a trend. Most students love to cheat. For the following points:
- Children's "comparison" psychology
Many children do not consciously cheat. They see others copying answers more often. When they see someone in the class with much better academic performance than themselves, this kind of "comparison" mentality motivates the children, I can also , I am stronger than them, and the children will do everything possible, from borrowing me to copy your homework to copying your test papers.
- Meet the expectations of your parents
Parents pay too much attention to grades. Every time their child takes an exam, parents will pay special attention to it. Especially when the child has a relatively high score in the exam, the parents are even more happy and happy. The child wants to meet the parents' expectations of themselves. I don't want my parents to be disappointed in myself, so the children can only ''cheat''.
- Satisfy your own self-esteem
It feels good to be praised, admired, and praised. When the child's score from cheating is praised by his parents, the child will become more "presumptuous" and want to continue to win his self-esteem in this way.
An educator once said, ''Everyone makes mistakes. But only a fool would be obsessed''!
Just like in 2018, a senior student at a certain university in Shanghai cheated in three consecutive exams and scolded the teacher. For this reason, the school gave the result that expulsion is equivalent to the four years of university. It was all in vain. He was very dissatisfied with the school's approach and took the school to court. In September 2019, the court recognized the fact that he cheated, and also recognized the legality of the school's expulsion procedure. Behavior, finally, the court rejected Xiao Wang's claim.
After getting this news, netizens also said that he should be responsible for his cheating behavior.
If I knew this earlier, why bother? If I could have known the dangers of cheating earlier, then Xiao Wang would not have caused this tragedy. Preventing problems before they happen is always more important than repairing them after they have occurred.
3. Children cheating is the critical period of "counseling", and it is the key to do these three points well
Parents of children's "cheating" must pay enough attention to it. I have read a sentence from a foreign university professor before, that you can cheat in studies, but what about those who fly airplanes? If his technology was obtained by cheating, the lives of all personnel on the entire aircraft will be destroyed. Parents should educate their children about "cheating" from an early age. Doing these three points well is the key!
- Help children more fully understand the disadvantages of cheating
Smart parents will give priority to protecting children's self-esteem, help children realize the disadvantages of cheating, let children know that cheating is a bad behavior, cheating in exams is all 0 points, cheating will also affect academic performance, etc. , the attitude of parents is very important. If parents always face their children with an aggressive attitude: "Look at yourself, if you don't study hard, you will know cheating. You don't know whether to lose face or not. You will lose all my face." Don't call me mom in the future, I don't have a son who can cheat''! If this is the case, the child can only bow his head silently because of your questioning and aggressive scolding. And if you change to another way:''My child, have you been under too much study pressure recently? Haven't reviewed yet? Or do you have no confidence in yourself? ''If it were you, which way would you prefer? The second kind of caring care and inquiry will make it easier for people to accept.
- Help children understand that knowledge depends on their own efforts, and let him understand the value of hard work
Cheating is just peeping at other people's knowledge points, not your own. Parents should let their children understand, "The best thing to do is to rely on your own strength in the exam. If everyone cheats, the world will be in chaos. If you don't Yes, we can ask questions, it's okay to be upright, the teacher likes children who ask questions most''. Use easy-to-understand words to let children understand that the best achievements are achieved by relying on their own strength and hard work! It doesn't matter if the score is not high, as long as you work harder next time, but you must not cheat.
- Cultivate children's honesty, quality is more important than grades
I have seen such a fable before: There was a poor woodcutter who lived by chopping wood. Into a big river, at this time, God appeared, the first time he helped him catch a "silver axe", he said it was not his, and the second time he helped him catch a "golden axe", the farmer He said again that it was not his, and picked up an "iron ax" for the third time. The farmer said happily, "This is mine"! God said, I think you are an honest man, and I gave you the other two axes. From then on, the farmer lived a happy life. This fable tells us that we must be honest, and honesty is a good quality. Parents must set a good example in order to cultivate this good quality permanently, so that this good quality will always accompany the child's growth.
4. Review the child's "cheating psychology" to solve worries
It is said that if there is a first time, there will be a second time. Parents should plan ahead, understand the child's "cheating psychology", and "do it" one step before the child, so as to prevent the child from "cheating" again, and the child "cheating" '', parents can analyze it from two aspects, one is from the parents, the child is afraid of disappointing the expectations of the parents, the other is from themselves, they have no confidence in themselves, they are afraid that they will not do well in the exam, and the ranking will be compared, the parents Start from these two aspects, strengthen the child's confidence, don't put too much pressure on the child, let the child play at a normal level, let the child's "cheating psychology" be cut off from the source, and solve the worries.
Being a person should be honest, and parents should clearly guide their children. It is more important to have the quality of honesty and integrity.