Why are more filial children less welcome? The following 3 reasons, every sentence pokes my heart
With the popularization of the two-child policy, more and more families choose to have a second child or even multiple children. There are many children, and it is inevitable to be compared. They all say that a bowl of water is level, but the scale is not so easy to grasp.
Where does it end? They often bring tea and water to their parents and filial piety to the elderly, but it is the children who are the least "loved".
Unpopular as a child, grow up to be the most filial child
At that time, Manman was the second child in the family, with an eldest sister on top and a younger brother on the bottom. She was the most unpopular one since she was a child. The elder sister is the first child in the family. She has enjoyed the favor of her parents for three years, and she is used to it.
The new clothes are given to the sister after the older sister wears it, and the delicious food is eaten by the sister first, because the mother would say, "My sister's class is tight, it takes her brains, and she needs to eat something good." Manman nodded sensible.
With the arrival of the younger brother, the balance of the family is tilted again. The younger brother is young and old, both parents and grandparents have devoted great efforts to him, and Manman, who is caught in the middle, is a little embarrassed.
Now that my father has passed away, my mother's pension has become a problem. The eldest sister is busy with business, and she faintly expresses "raising children to prevent old age". The youngest son just got married, and he stammered and said, "It's not convenient to live together."
After learning about the situation, Manman hurriedly took her mother to her home. She said to the old man, "I rarely had the chance to be alone with you when I was a child. Now I have time, thank you mom!"
After hearing this, the old man burst into tears and felt extremely regretful in her heart. She did not expect that her eldest daughter and younger son would let go of her favor, and in the end, the second daughter, who was the least popular, would give her old age.
Analysis: Why are more filial children less popular?
- sensible, rarely make demands
It is said that "the child who can cry has milk to eat." The more filial the child, the more well-behaved and sensible, they understand the difficulties of their parents and the situation of the family, and rarely put forward their own requirements.
Even if it is proposed, it is cautious, for fear of angering the parents. Conflicts with siblings are rarely distinguished, and neither fight nor grab. Others, on the other hand, may be tantrums and cry, and parents have to soothe them.
Over time, my own needs have been ignored by my parents, and I will be reprimanded for doing something "out of line", because my parents have become accustomed to it.
- Will not make parents happy
The more filial the children are, the more action-oriented they are. They rarely express their love for their parents in words, but take the initiative to undertake tasks such as housework and taking care of younger siblings.
The sweet-mouthed children will please their parents and can speak well. Parents think that the children are really smart and like them more, but they ignore the slightly dull children.
- Parents' "natural" bias
There are various reasons for parents to be biased, such as patriarchal preference, liking children who look like themselves, liking children who will have trouble, etc. Some parents are not aware of it themselves.
If you have been secretly "labeled" by your parents since birth, then no matter how hard you try, it will be difficult to reverse.
Why are there more and more unfilial children? It is inseparable from the education of parents
① Excessive pampering of children
Parents dote on their children excessively, and develop a child who is self-centered and only knows how to take but not give. It is unrealistic to expect such a child to be filial.
② Lack of a grateful heart
The favored children feel that everything they enjoy is for granted. Once the old man is "useless", he wants to kick it away, lacking a grateful attitude.
③ Parents are not good role models
Nowadays, many families in China are big families with four generations living together. If parents do not set an example of filial piety, then no matter how much they dote on their children, I am afraid they will not get a good ending.