The new anxiety of raising a baby in the Chinese style, the grandmother has become the main force of raising a baby, 5 reasons are realistic and heartbreaking

Now the pressure of life is getting bigger and bigger, and the family burden is not small. With the birth of children, they go to school. More and more money is required.

Under the economic anxiety of raising a child in a Chinese style, some families who are not particularly wealthy, Bao Ma will return to the workplace soon after giving birth to the child, and the child will be helped by the elderly.

But take a closer look at the people with children around you, and find that many children are called "grandma" instead of "grandma", which means that grandma has become the main force in bringing children.

Why is it more and more common for grandma to bring a baby, where is grandma? 5 reasons are realistic and heart-wrenching.

Why does grandma bring the baby?

1. I feel sorry for my daughter

Q: Why do you want to help bring your grandson?

Answer: I feel sorry for the girl!

Mothers always try their best to give the best to their daughters, just like we treat our own children. Although it is very hard to bring grandchildren, it does not affect the efforts of grandmothers. why? Because they love their daughters more!

Even if we have children, we are still children in their eyes. If there is one person in the world who will forgive you after being hurt countless times, that is the mother.

Becoming a mother, raising a daughter, but also distressed for a lifetime.

When I became a grandmother, I became a primary school student. I had to learn everything from scratch, and I was afraid of causing trouble to my children.

2. Grandparents are unwilling to care

Now more and more elderly people don't want to take their grandchildren, especially after taking a grandchild, they feel very hard. They just want to take care of their old age and spend their old age in peace.

Some grandparents said:

"We have brought up our son, and now whoever gives birth will take care of himself, we have no energy."

What can young couples do? I can only respect the opinion of the elderly. I chatted with a few mothers before because my parents-in-law were unwilling to take care of the children, so I gave the children to my own mother to take care of them.

3. "Living from a husband" is no longer the norm

In the traditional Chinese marriage model, "living from the husband" is the norm, that is, the wife lives in the husband's house, living with the husband's parents or living alone in the same place, and the husband's parents will also take on the responsibility of helping to raise the grandchildren.

However, with the development of modernization and urbanization, it has had an important impact on the traditional Chinese way of living, and the way of living has become very flexible, and "living from a husband" is no longer the only option.

Xiaoqi's hometown is in Shenyang. After graduating from university, he has been developing in Suzhou. His work has become stable and his income is very considerable. He planned to develop in Suzhou for a long time.

Xiaoqi fell in love with a local girl. After marriage, because Xiaoqi's parents were still in Shenyang, they couldn't go to Suzhou to visit their son's family often, but the girl's parents were both in Suzhou, so naturally, the woman's parents helped to take care of her. child.

4. The embodiment of gender equality awareness

With the development of society, the awareness of gender equality has gradually taken root in the hearts of the people. Therefore, many elderly people agree to give their sons and daughters the same help in caring for children, and many elderly people prefer to live with their daughters.

Therefore, grandma has become a member of the army of raising children, especially in urban areas, there is a diversified situation of parents, grandparents, grandparents, and nanny jointly raising children.

5. Grandma takes the initiative to share

①There are 2 sons at home, grandparents are busy with the baby

In previous traditions, grandma bringing grandchildren seems to have become a default custom.

But in a family, if there are more than 2 sons, the age difference between the two sons is not big, and the grandmother can't be exposed to the rain and the dew.

If both sons have a second child, then it is equivalent to having 4 grandchildren. The grandparents are even more overwhelmed, and the children cannot be well educated or cared for. Therefore, reasonable in-laws often take the initiative to help with the baby.

②The wife is an only child

Influenced by the one-child policy in the 1970s and 1980s, there are many one-child families in China. Compared with families with many children, parents of only children will focus their energy on their only child.

If the woman is the only child in the couple, the woman's parents will devote more energy to the daughter's family, so it has become a common phenomenon for the woman's parents to help with the child.

In addition, the grandmother brings the baby, which can not only reduce the conflict between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law, but also can discuss things with her parents when the mother encounters things, and the family will be more harmonious.

What are the benefits of having a grandmother with a baby?

1. Reduce the conflict between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law

Many daughters-in-law and mother-in-law have a moderate relationship before marriage, but after the baby is born, serious family conflicts are often caused due to differences in living habits and parenting concepts.

Today's young people are relatively independent in their thinking. Most girls grew up in a pampered environment, with poor endurance and inability to obey their mother-in-law in everything. Therefore, the contradiction between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law will become more prominent.

If the daughter-in-law and the mother-in-law quarrel, the husband is also in a dilemma. But if the woman lives with her mother, this dilemma will be greatly reduced.

2. It is good to discuss in case of trouble

Secondly, there is a large gap in the educational concepts of mother-in-law and daughter-in-law. It is easier for daughters and their parents to understand each other. Parents are also willing to obey their daughters and cooperate with scientific parenting methods.

Therefore, many mothers said that when conditions permit, they are more willing to let their mothers take care of their children, and it is easier to live with their parents and bring their children together.

3. Children are closer to their mothers

When grandma takes care of the child, if there are conflicts between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law, these conflicts may be transferred to the child. Some elderly people like to read and talk to the child in private, and will complain about his mother's badness to the child in private, destroying the perfect image of the mother in the eyes of the child. .

But it’s different for grandmothers with children. They know that it’s not easy for their daughters, they can educate their children, and they must be good to their mothers when they grow up!

But we can't just think about the advantages of having a baby with a grandmother. There are also certain disadvantages of having a baby with a grandmother. Young parents can comprehensively consider the advantages and disadvantages, and then make a decision.

Disadvantages of having a grandmother with a baby

1. Grandma has a heavy burden

Although it is good for grandma to bring the baby, but if grandma's health is not very good, it will increase the burden on the body. If a mother wants her mother to bring the baby, she must first consider the mother's physical condition and do an inspection in advance.

2. I have a grudge with my mother-in-law

If the relationship with the mother-in-law is relatively tense, bringing the child to the grandmother may make some mother-in-law feel that they are rejected, then the relationship between the mother-in-law and the daughter-in-law will be more rigid, so the mother needs to find a good way to stop bringing the baby. Deepen the conflict with the mother-in-law.

【Parenting Message】

Whether it is a grandmother or a grandmother, being willing to bring a baby is a love for the children, so I usually have a little more understanding of the elderly. The elderly and their parents are all for the good of the children. Don’t hurt the heart of the elderly because of excessive words and deeds.

Of course, each family’s situation is different, and specific issues have to be looked at on a case-by-case basis. As for who should take care of the baby, the husband and wife had better discuss it, so that the family will be more harmonious!