The new anxiety of raising a baby in Chinese style, grandma is the main force of raising a baby, 5 reasons are realistic and heart-wrenching

Now the pressure of life is increasing, and the family burden is not small. With the birth of the child, going to school. More and more money is required.

Under the economic anxiety of Chinese-style child-rearing, in some families that are not particularly wealthy, mothers will return to the workplace shortly after giving birth, and the children will be taken care of by the elderly.

However, if you look carefully at the children around you, you will find that many children call you "grandmother" instead of "grandmother", indicating that grandma has become the main force in raising children. More and more children are rushing into grandma's arms at the entrance of the kindergarten.

Why is it more and more common for grandma to bring a baby? Where did grandma go? The 5 reasons are realistic and heart-wrenching.

Why does grandma bring a baby?

1. I feel sorry for my daughter

Q: Why do you want to help take care of your grandson?

Answer: I feel sorry for the girl!

Mothers always try their best to give their daughters the best, just like we treat our own children. Although it is hard to bring up grandchildren, it does not affect the dedication of grandmas. why? Because they love their daughters more!

Even though we have had children, we are still children in their eyes. If there is one person in the world who will forgive you after being hurt countless times, that is the mother.

Becoming a mother, raising a daughter, and loving her for the rest of her life.

Becoming a grandma and becoming a primary school student again, I have to learn everything from scratch, and I am afraid of causing trouble to my children.

2. Grandparents do not want to control

Nowadays, more and more old people don't want to take care of their grandchildren, especially after taking care of a grandson, they feel very hard. They just want to take care of their old age and spend their old age in peace.

Some grandparents say:

"We have brought up our son, now whoever gives birth will take care of it himself, we have no energy."

What can young couples do? I can only respect the opinions of the elderly. I chatted with several precious mothers before, because the parents-in-law were unwilling to take care of the children, so they gave the children to their own mothers to take care of them.

3. "Living from husband" is no longer the norm

In the traditional Chinese marriage model, "living with the husband" is the norm, that is, the wife lives in the husband's home, lives with the man's parents or lives alone in the same place, and the man's parents will also take on the responsibility of helping to raise the grandchildren.

However, with the development of modernization and urbanization, it has had an important impact on the traditional Chinese living style, and the living style has become very flexible, and "living with husband" is no longer the only choice.

Xiao Qi's hometown is in Shenyang, and he has been developing in Suzhou since he graduated from university. His job has become stable and his income is also very considerable. He planned to develop in Suzhou for a long time.

Xiao Qi fell in love with a local girl. After marriage, because Xiao Qi’s parents were still in Shenyang, he couldn’t go to Suzhou to visit his son’s family often, but the girl’s parents were both in Suzhou, so naturally, the girl’s parents helped to take care of her child.

4. Demonstration of gender equality awareness

With the development of society, the awareness of gender equality has gradually become popular among the people. Therefore, many elderly people also agree to give the same help to their sons and daughters in caring for their children, and many elderly people prefer to live with their daughters.

Therefore, grandma has become a member of the army of raising children, especially in urban areas, where parents, grandparents, grandparents, and nanny jointly raise children.

5. Grandma takes the initiative to share

① There are 2 sons in the family, and grandparents are busy with their children

In the previous tradition, it seems that grandma taking care of her grandson has become a default custom.

But in a family, if there are more than 2 sons, the age gap between the two sons is not too big, and grandma can't get even rain and dew.

If both sons are going to have a second child, it is equivalent to having 4 grandchildren. The grandparents are even more busy, and the children will not receive good education or care. Therefore, reasonable in-laws will often take the initiative to help bring up the children.

②The wife is the only child

Affected by the one-child policy in the 1970s and 1980s, there are many one-child families in China. Compared with families with many children, parents of only children will devote all their energy to their only child.

If the woman is the only child in the couple, then the woman's parents will devote more energy to the daughter's family, so it has become a common phenomenon for the woman's parents to help take care of the child.

Moreover, the grandma and the baby can not only reduce the conflicts between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law, but also allow mothers to discuss things with their parents, and the family will be more harmonious.

What are the benefits of having a grandma with a baby?

1. Reduce conflicts between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law

Many daughter-in-laws and mother-in-laws have a peaceful relationship before marriage, but after the baby is born, differences in living habits and parenting concepts often lead to serious family conflicts.

Today's young people are relatively independent in their thinking. Most girls grew up in an environment where they were pampered and have poor endurance. They cannot obey their mother-in-law in everything, so the conflict between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law will become more prominent.

If the daughter-in-law quarrels with her mother-in-law, it is also a dilemma for the husband to be caught in the middle. But if the woman lives with her mother, this dilemma will be greatly reduced.

2. Easy to discuss when things happen

Secondly, there is a big gap between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law's educational concepts. It is easier for daughters and their parents to understand each other, and parents are willing to obey their daughters and cooperate with scientific parenting methods.

Therefore, many mothers said that when conditions permit, they are more willing to let their mothers take care of their children, and it is easier to live with their parents and take care of their children.

3. Children and mothers are closer

When grandma is raising children, if there are conflicts between the mother-in-law and daughter-in-law, they may transfer these conflicts to the children. Some old people like to talk about their mothers in private, and they will spoil the perfect image of the mother in the eyes of the children. .

But it’s different for grandmas to take care of their children. They know how difficult it is for their daughters, and they know how to educate their children to treat their mother well when they grow up!

But we can't just think about the benefits of grandma raising a baby. There are certain disadvantages of grandma raising a baby. Young parents can consider it comprehensively, understand the pros and cons, and then make a decision.

Disadvantages of Grandma Bringing a Baby

1. Grandma has a heavy burden on her body

Although it is good for grandma to take care of the baby, if grandma's health is not very good, it will increase the physical burden. If Bao Ma wants her mother to bring the baby, she must first consider the mother's physical condition and do an examination in advance.

2. There is a quarrel with the mother-in-law

If the relationship with the mother-in-law is tense, bringing the child to the grandma may make some mother-in-laws feel that they are disgusted, and the relationship between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law will become more rigid, so Bao Ma needs to find a way to stop bringing the baby. Deepen the conflict with the mother-in-law.

【Parenting message】

Whether it is a grandma or a grandma, willing to bring up a baby is love for the children, so I usually understand the old people more. The old people and parents are for the good of the children. Don't hurt the hearts of the old people because of aggressive words and deeds.

Of course, each family's situation is different, and specific issues need to be considered in detail. It is best for couples to discuss who will take care of the baby, so that the family will be more harmonious!