The new daughter-in-law who just entered the door is kind to her mother-in-law, why is her mother-in-law not appreciative? Every detail is human

Lan Lan, a 28-year-old girl who just got married, has a bad relationship with her mother-in-law. She always feels that her mother-in-law treats her lukewarmly. In this regard, Lan Lan thinks that she may be doing a bad job. The gifts bought by the mother-in-law are more expensive than those of the mother, but the relationship between the mother-in-law and the daughter-in-law has not improved greatly. I used to imagine that the mother-in-law was like a mother and daughter, but now it seems unlikely.

Lanlan didn't dare to tell her husband and mother about this. After all, she just got married, and her mother-in-law was okay with herself. She complained to her best friend, and her best friend who already had children reminded her that you shouldn't think about being close to your mother-in-law like a mother and daughter. It's a matter of fact, if you don't make a red face three years before marriage, even if you are a good mother-in-law and daughter-in-law, you have to remember that mother-in-law is never a mother, just let it go.

Lanlan doesn't agree with this. She has no idea of ​​opposing her mother-in-law, and she really wants to have a good relationship. She feels that as long as she is willing to give and express kindness, her mother-in-law will be moved. They all love the same man , is also a family, there is no reason why my mother-in-law doesn't like her. The girlfriend looked at Lanlan like an alien, and said to her leisurely, you will know later.

In the relationship between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law, who should treat whom first?

Lanlan's experience is actually the old-fashioned question of mother-in-law and daughter-in-law. Two women who didn't know each other at first had a family relationship because of a man. The daughter-in-law should call the mother-in-law "Mom", and the mother-in-law should love the daughter-in-law as a junior. Ten years, we have to get along for a long time, the knowledge here is really too great.

From the mother-in-law's point of view, the daughter-in-law is a junior, and she should respect her elders, adapt to this family as soon as possible, and take on the burden of taking care of her son. For a daughter-in-law, she is a newcomer and needs a lot of advice and help from her mother-in-law. Everyone wants the other party to treat them well first, but more mothers who are daughter-in-law, after several years of marriage, feel that no matter what they are No matter how good she is, she can't warm her mother-in-law's heart. She still can't look at herself like her own daughter, and this initial impression also makes many daughters-in-law feel cold, and their attitude towards mother-in-law is not as good as before, then, Why do old people who have just become mother-in-law not appreciate their daughter-in-law? If you look at it carefully, there is humanity in it.

1. I just became a mother-in-law, so I don't get used to it

Many mothers with sons have this idea. Sooner or later, the son will belong to someone else. There is a saying that if you marry a daughter-in-law, you forget your mother. Therefore, a person who has just become a mother-in-law has a very complicated mood. The son who was with him day and night suddenly left. He got home and set up a new family. He was so good to another woman, and he completely forgot who brought him up through hardships. He felt very uncomfortable. The mother-in-law felt relieved when she saw the sweetness of the young couple, but at the same time Another kind of loss. The feelings for my daughter-in-law are very complicated, and I really can't like it.

2. He is too good for his daughter-in-law, and it is not easy to make rules

There is an old saying in China that a daughter-in-law who has worked hard for many years becomes a mother-in-law. She should treat her daughter-in-law the same way her mother-in-law treated her back then. This is probably the long-cherished wish of many mother-in-laws. When a daughter-in-law comes to this house, she must obey her rules. Young girls can easily challenge the authority of their mother-in-law. There is no room for two tigers. There can only be one mistress in a family. Everyone wants to have the final say, especially when it comes to the husband, everyone wants to have control, and the mother-in-law naturally dislikes it. The various practices of the daughter-in-law are not enthusiastic.

3. I am not satisfied with my daughter-in-law

The freedom of marriage is now advocated. Boys who like another girl will probably not get the consent of their parents. When he thinks the time is right, he will bring the girl home. But mothers-in-law look at daughters-in-law, except for looks and character. She also inspected her work and family environment. Sometimes the opinions of her children are completely opposite. When the daughter-in-law does not meet her vision, the evaluation is naturally poor. This actually lays the foundation for getting along with mother-in-law and daughter-in-law There is a grudge from the beginning, so it will be difficult to have the same hobbies and common language in the future.

What kind of mother-in-law really treats her daughter-in-law as a daughter?

1. The good-looking mother-in-law

If a mother-in-law looks at her daughter-in-law horizontally and vertically, the reasons are very complicated, but there is a kind of mother-in-law who may have a strong desire to control her son, thinking that her daughter-in-law robbed her son, so her nose is not a nose, nor is her face. On the contrary, if the mother-in-law is very open-minded and cheerful, and can see everything openly, then she will sincerely bless the young couple, and feel that as long as the son is happy, it will be very pleasing to see the daughter-in-law, and the relationship between the two will be will be better.

2. Daughter-in-law chosen by oneself

The mother-in-law is 100% satisfied with the daughter-in-law that she personally selected. The two of them are very compatible with him in terms of hobbies and three views. They have established a good start from the beginning. When the daughter-in-law gets married, the mother-in-law has feelings for her. It will be a higher level, and it will be easier for two people to get along.

3. Heart-to-heart

There is also a kind of mother-in-law. After thoroughly understanding her daughter-in-law and knowing that her daughter-in-law is more filial, she is really good to her son, and she sincerely pays for the family, then she will change her mind and completely treat her daughter-in-law as a member of her own family. Love and care, such a mother-in-law is bound to have an excellent daughter-in-law, and the relationship will naturally become closer and closer.

How can mother-in-law and daughter-in-law get along for a long time?

In any case, mother-in-law and daughter-in-law are not natural enemies. For ten years to see mother-in-law and ten years to see daughter-in-law, mother-in-law should accept her daughter-in-law with a more tolerant attitude, and daughter-in-law should not be self-willed. Mutual respect, tolerance, and a proper sense of distance can lead to a long-term relationship. In life, there are many examples of mothers-in-law who take the initiative to show affection, but daughters-in-law do not appreciate it, but in any case, two women are good, Home can be good, and children can be good.