In old age, mothers tend to go to their children, why doesn't father have a place to go? The reason is sad and helpless
A kind aunt came upstairs to my house. She always praised her happily when she saw her daughter. Later, I realized that this aunt came to my son’s home to support her. The house in her hometown was sold and was taken over by her son-in-law. Once, when we were watching our children chatting downstairs, another neighbor couldn’t help but enviously said, how many times have I told my dad to come and live with me, but he just didn’t listen. Now that my mom is gone, I really don’t care Don't worry he's alone.
The topic inevitably revolved around pensions. The aunt lamented that this is the difference between a father and a mother. When the mother is old, the children are vying for it. When the father is old, there is nowhere to go. Why is there such a strange phenomenon? What is the difference between an old father and an old mother in their later years?
Why do mothers choose to go to their children when they are old?
- Can help take care of the family
Mothers are busy with their families and children all their lives. In their later years, if their wife dies, the general choice is to follow their children. They can help their children take care of the family, buy vegetables, cook and clean up the housework, so that children can eat hot meals when they go home. There are no worries, but having an old man in the family is like having a treasure. The old man has rich experience in dealing with things, and he can raise a point or two when encountering problems. There are many benefits of living with children.
- Can help take care of children
Today's children are either brought up by grandma or grandma. The old man has rich experience in taking care of children, and can save the cost of hiring a babysitter for the children, and can also take care of the adults by the way, especially when the grandchildren go to school and have to get up early every day. They cook, and the young parents can't get up so early, so the old people have full power to do it for them.
- Personal habits are better
Old mothers generally have no bad habits, and they like to bring clean and tidy habits to their children's homes. They are like a busy little bee, working hard to contribute to their children. For her, she is not here to eat for free. I feel more at ease, and I don't feel like I'm dragging my children down. Therefore, the dedication of old mothers is priceless, and children should not feel that they are supporting the elderly. In fact, we can ask for more from them.
Why does my father prefer to live alone when he is old?
- Feel useless
Chinese people have become accustomed to the division of labor in the family, where the father is old and he prefers to stay at home. Even if his wife dies, he is unwilling to move. One of the reasons is that he feels useless and goes He can only add chaos to his children, he can't do anything, and he has to be waited on, and he has an extra mouth to eat. After a long time, his children don't say anything, and he feels awkward.
- Male self-esteem
The father is the symbol of family authority and the head of the family. He is used to being waited upon and has the final say at home. When his wife passed away, he was even more unwilling to go to his children's house and live his life by watching other people's faces. This is actually an old father. There is another reason for the inability to let go of men's self-esteem. The father has been taken care of by the mother all his life, and now no one is taking care of him. They don't want to be taken care of by their children anymore. They hope to live a free life.
- Personal habits
Fathers have obvious personal hobbies, and are unwilling to go to their children’s homes for the elderly. Some elderly people like to raise dogs, some elderly people like to smoke and drink, and some elderly people can’t let go of their old neighbors and old friends. They can’t cook and can buy food. If you don't know how to clean up the housework, you will be so dirty, and no one will say anything. It will be different when you go to the children's house. Not only do you have to give up a lot of personal hobbies, but you also have to do some things you don't want to do. From this point of view, men are even worse. Willing to compromise.
We should care more about older men
Husband, wife, is to have a partner when you are old. No one with a wife is willing to live with their children. Compared with mothers, fathers need more care in their old age. They generally do not have the ability to take care of themselves, and they are unwilling to follow their children for the elderly, so they live alone Life is more deserted, and therefore, children should devote more energy to care and care, so that their old age will be more worry-free.
Do you have such an old man by your side?