In old age, mothers often defect to their children, but why does father have nowhere to go? The reason is sad and helpless
A kind aunt came upstairs to my house. She always complimented her happily when she saw her daughter. Later, I got to know her well. I learned that this aunt came to my son's house to retire. Once, we were watching the children chatting downstairs, and another neighbor said enviously, how many times I told my dad to come and live with me, but they just didn't obey me. Now that my mother is gone, I really don't. Don't worry he's alone.
The topic inevitably revolved around pensions. The aunt sighed that this is the difference between a father and a mother. When the mother is old, the children are all vying for it. When the father is old, there is no place to go. Why is there such a strange phenomenon? What is the difference between an old father and an old mother in old age?
Why does my mother choose to defect to her children when she is old?
- Can help take care of the family
Mothers are busy all their lives for the family and their children. In old age, if the wife dies, the general choice is to follow the children. They can help their children take care of the family, buy food, cook and clean up the housework, so that the children can eat hot meals when they go home. There is no worries in the future, and there is an old man in the family who has a treasure. The old man has rich experience in dealing with things, and he can also give some tips when encountering problems. There are many benefits of living in the children's home.
- Can help take care of children
Today's children are brought up either by grandma or grandma. The elderly have rich experience in raising children, and they can save their children the cost of hiring a nanny. They can also take care of adults by the way, especially when their grandchildren go to school, and they have to get up early every day. They cook, the young parents can't get up so early, and the old people do it all for them.
- Better personal habits
Old mothers generally have no bad habits, and they like to bring clean and neat good habits to their children's homes, like a busy little bee, diligently dedicating to their children. For her, she is not here to eat rice. I feel more at ease, and I will not feel that I am dragging my children down. Therefore, the contribution of the old mother is priceless, and the children should not feel that they are supporting the old man. In fact, we ask for more from them.
Why does my father prefer to live alone when he is old?
- Feeling useless
Chinese people have become accustomed to the family division of labor in which "men lead the outside and women lead the home". When the father is old, he is more willing to stay at home. Even if his wife dies, he is reluctant to move the place. One of the reasons is that he feels that he is useless. The children can only cause trouble. He doesn't know how to do anything, and he has people waiting for them. He has more mouths to eat. After a long time, the children don't say anything, and he feels awkward.
- Male self-esteem
The father is the symbol of family authority and the head of the family. He is used to being served and has the final say at home. When his wife dies, he is even more reluctant to go to his children's house and live by looking at other people's faces. This is actually an old father. There is another reason for not being able to let go of men's self-esteem. Fathers have been controlled by their mothers all their lives, and now they are finally left alone. They don't want to be controlled by their children anymore. They prefer to live freely.
- Personal habits
The father has obvious personal hobbies, and he is unwilling to go to his children’s home for old age. Some elderly people like to keep dogs, some elderly people like to smoke and drink, and some elderly people can’t give up their old neighbors and friends, so they can buy food if they can’t cook. , I can't clean up the housework, so I'm so dirty, and no one will say anything. It's different when I get to my children's home. Not only do I have to give up many personal hobbies, but I also have to do some things that I don't want to do. From this point of view, men don't Willing to compromise.
We should care more about male elderly
Wife, wife, is to have a partner in old age. No one is willing to live with their children. Compared with mothers, fathers need more care in their old age. They generally do not have the ability to take care of themselves and are unwilling to accompany their children in the old age, so they live alone. Life is more deserted, and therefore, children should devote more energy to care and care, so that their old age will be more worry-free.
Do you have such an old man by your side?